A very long time ago, there was this little girl that started dreaming of having a style blog, a magical place for her to pour her heart out, to have a big goal, a dream to aspire to - to be a respected and established blogger, and hopefully make some friends along the way.
But that little girl was well, little, and everyone advised her to wait. No one would take her seriously. And after all, little girls don't know what they really want yet. Full of doubt, that twelve year old girl waited. While waiting for what turned out to be a long time, she started to do two very different and contradictory things. One of them was forgetting about that little-girl-dream from time to time. Who could blame her. It was the time in which she moved to another continent (twice) and had to learn to speak (two) foreign languages fluently. But also let's not forget it's the time of all that teenager-y hormonal puberty stuff. So she was pretty busy.
And then there were the times where her mind wandered to her one big dream. As if it wouldn't be terrible on its own to only dream about something you want, she also started overthinking it. She played all the possible scenarios in her brain of what could go wrong. Of how she might be made fun of in real life, how her pictures might look ugly, of how it might turn out to be a big failure and her dream would be crushed forever...
But what do you know, one day, after four years, she decided to jump in, head first, into one of the biggest dreams of her life. Until today, I still have no logical explanation of what pushed her that day. No one forced her to do it, no one was bringing it up. I don't have to say how proud I am of her, do I?
Things were going great. But since now she wouldn't forget her fashion blog, because she had it, she had much more space for thoughts of how so much could go wrong.
It's not like something bad happened and she decided to stop blogging because of it. She just got so anxious about writing posts, she would do anything else just to avoid it. And she successfully avoided her blog for almost half a year. No one wanted to put pressure on her, but finally I was the one that gathered the strength to show her some tough love and to give her a reality check.
So, yes, now I am pushing that little girl that still lives inside my head to follow her dreams unapologetically. The truth is that everything with her blog was going great. For some reason our brains look for the balance. If we have a streak of positive, we anticipate that sometime that balance will tip over and something bad will happen to us. The longer things go great, the more our consciousness starts preparing for the fall.
I'm not saying that I complain about how great the blogging was going. If anything, I complain to myself about myself. Why do I have to overthink things until I get terrible anxiety...
There you go, now you know how much my hiatus has been killing me on the inside where the little girl hides.
Will it seem silly if I change the topic to my outfit now? It's fashion blog after all!
I've always loved classic tutus, but they are not very appropriate to wear as a fashion statement I feel. Also, they're not really a style that would suit me. But a black tutu skirt, which is uneven and looks a little grunge-y around the edges solves that problem for me. The skirt makes me feel like a princess of darkness :)
I went out of my comfort zone with the top. Because it's tight? No, I'm a teen and that's kind of our thing, haha. It's just because it's red. Red is my favorite color, but I feel like bright palettes don't look as good on me. I'm proud of myself for not picking the grey version of this top, especially since I probably have about fifty grey tops in my closet. Isn't is also weird that this one was sold at a sportswear store?...
(Leave it to Lora to pair a sports top with high heels, oops!)
I hope you're not mad at me for disappearing under a rock for half a year. I will keep pushing that little girl and I'll kick her in the butt sooner next time she slacks off.
top | Nike skirt | Zara shoes | Sommerkind bag | Louis Vuitton
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